Soon after election as ANC president at 2007 Polokwane conference, Jacob Zuma took to the podium and prefaced his speech with a giggle.The man affectionately known by his clan name "Msholozi," giggled "hehehe" before thanking delegates for their robust participation. Zuma sported the same giggle as he begrudgingly exchanged hugs with President Thabo Mbeki.
Needless to say, Zuma was part of the collective that unceremoniously recalled Mbeki from Union Buildings. The giggle that gained prominence in 2007 would go on to plunge ANC into reputational damage of cataclysmic proportions. After inauguration as South African President in 2009, the country bore the brunt of Zuma's apocalyptic giggle.
He resorted to this giggle to divert attention and trivialise matters of national importance. Zuma sought refuge behind his giggle to eschew accountability when opposition MPs grilled him for his wanton malfeasance.
In 2012 when former Democratic Alliance parliamentary leader Lindiwe Mazibuko enquired why he failed to provide Public Protector with proof of bond for his Nkandla homestead, the former Robben Island prisoner giggled before replying that he had obtained a loan from WesBank to finance renovations to his house.
After a protracted investigation, it was discovered that Head of State had deliberately misled parliament. While tabling presidential budget in 2015, the president famous for singing Umshini Wam' mocked Honourable members' pronunciation of " Nkandla" before exclaiming "Thixo Wase George Goch" ensued by trademark "hehehe" giggle.
It was the same condescending giggle that prompted firebrand opposition EFF MPs to intensify their "Pay Back The Money" campaign thereby rendering parliament an inhospitable terrain for Speaker Baleka Mbete.
When put on the spot for his hire and fire rampage of three finance minsters in seven days in December 2015, Zuma unleashed his apocalyptic giggle. Despite his documented ineptitude, his acolytes continued to sing along to his self-choreographed "Inde Lendlela" chorus while the country was on a downward spiral.. This giggle is Zuma's "Ace" card in his unrelenting endeavour to defeat the ends of constitutional accountability.
During high-voltage parliamentary debates on matters of national significance, Zuma's first rule of engagement was a giggle followed by monotonous rhetoric of white monopoly capital. Noble men and women of impeccable character have been mesmerised by this giggle and stood idle as ANC's moral currency depreciated. An internationally renowned liberation movement has been turned into a failed project in which political patronage reigns supreme. A once broad church has rapidly narrowed down so that one man can keep his giggle.
The same president who took an oath of office in full glance of the multitudes to "oppose all that may harm the republic," confessed that he knew of individuals who stole from state coffers but, had since turned a blind eye. The president made this incriminating statement during ANC rally in KZN and unashamedly giggled "hehehe."
Zuma pulled a stunt of Shakespearan proportions when he re-called Finance minister Pravin Gordhan from overseas investor roadshow and later fired him at midnight. Gordhan was fired based on a well orchestrated smear campaign titled "Operation Check-Mate" while keeping Bathabile Dlamini as Social Development minister despite a damning Constitutional Court ruling against her in respect of SASSA fiasco. Consistent to his circus antics, a giggle was Zuma's only response.
Zuma fired ministers who remained loyal to their oath of office and showed unwavering loyalty to those who thrive under mediocrity. The Rand developed Hay Fever while a Grade:4 drop-out giggled at the west wing of Union Buildings.
For as long as Zuma continues to giggle at Union Buildings at times when South Africa is fast becoming a Curry Republic - those ravaged by unemployment will continue to see no light at the end of the tunnel. Lack of clean water shall be our daily nightmare while, ANC is reduced to a senile stokvel that finds resonance in rural areas.
